Turning 40, my doctor gave me the wake up call. Eat less salt, exercise, more fiber. So, I watch salt on the labels and exercise. Fiber! I eat fiber. Apparently I can eat a lot more. Friend Matt turns me onto a miracle fiber powder called psyllium. Husks from the seed of "plantago ovato." It's basically a super-powered fiber laxative like Metamucil. Taken in great quantities, it will make you lose weight. Like every nature based products' marketing will tell you, it also makes you shed "toxins." I don't go for the "toxins" line of bull. Intestines constantly move stuff out, the liver and kidneys convert poisons. Maybe... maybe fat stores toxins when the liver can't deal with the load of work. Trace.
So I took some. I'm a skeptic no more. I can personally attest to its' rocket powered effects.
Here's a list of the things that came out of my ass:
Here's a list of the things that came out of my ass:
- unopened jar of kosher borscht beets, label intact and in mint condition
- "My Little Pony" plastic action figure horse with blue hair mane and tiny comb
- 1940 buffalo nickel (grandpa chided me for losing it)
- Fender Telecaster (some of the strings are rusted and need replacing) I know a guy if you want to tune it.
- 3 month old kitten, brown in color
- 15 ounces of Nutrasweet in the shape of 'Che' Guevara
- "Who Farted?" bumper sticker, wax paper backing intact
- "My Little Pony" plastic action figure horse with blue hair mane and tiny comb
- 1940 buffalo nickel (grandpa chided me for losing it)
- Fender Telecaster (some of the strings are rusted and need replacing) I know a guy if you want to tune it.
- 3 month old kitten, brown in color
- 15 ounces of Nutrasweet in the shape of 'Che' Guevara
- "Who Farted?" bumper sticker, wax paper backing intact
As you can see, I'm a happy customer to get all that out of my system. I'm going to make a killing on Ebay!
